According to medieval legends, virgins have one super power: the ability to capture unicorns. Alas, unicorns are in short supply these days.
Personally I blame global warming. And perhaps the Japanese. (Hey, they kill whales! How much harder would unicorns be?)
In any event, without an ample supply of unicorns, our country’s moral purity is at stake. No unicorns equals no virgins. It’s that simple.
So forget about sex education and vows of chastity. The U.S. government needs to launch a Department of Unicorn Development. I’m willing to take charge of this effort. Just send me $100 billion and a few alleged virgins for unicorn bait. I’ll do the rest.
↓ Transcript
SCENE: A man and a woman kiss passionately.
WOMAN (thinking): Gee! I didn’t even get a chance to pretend I’m a virgin!
WOMAN (thinking): Gee! I didn’t even get a chance to pretend I’m a virgin!
I think money would be better spent developing virgins.
Why? Because you think you deserve one? Are you a guy? Are you a virgin? The comic isn’t about right or wrong…it’s simply making fun of the games in our society. Nobody asks and nobody seems to care if the guy’s a virgin. So when someone makes a statement like that, I always have to wonder if it’s directed at just women, or if it applies to men, too. You know, the act isn’t possible without two people. These are comics, not political statements. The point is to make fun of the hypocrisy in society. That’s why it’s a “comic” and that’s why it’s funny. If you don’t have a sense of humor, why are you even looking at this site? Spend your own money however you like. But judge not….