No Sex Please, I’m Straight
Transcript:
MAN TALKING TO WOMAN: I don’t mind gay marriage…as long as you don’t have gay sex!
1959 Artist Unknown Color: Allen Freeman
10.1.4.4.
1959 Artist Unknown Color: Allen Freeman
10.1.4.4.
Transcript:
MAN TALKING TO WOMAN: I don’t mind gay marriage…as long as you don’t have gay sex!
1959 Artist Unknown Color: Allen Freeman
10.1.4.4.
Transcript:
WOMAN: Go ahead and propose! I might even say “Yes” this time!
1952 Art: Nina Albright Re-Creation: Elite Avni-Sharon
EAS.lk11
Happy Valentine’s Day! And a big, heartfelt thanks to my pal Mike Pascale for today’s lustful, love comic.
Transcript:
WOMAN: Ohh! I love a man with a big heart on!
1963 Art: Vince Colletta Studio Color: Allen Freeman
Sweet Valentine Lovin’ & Special Effects: Mike Pascale
32.1.1.1
This is the final page of a three-page story—originally called “I Was a Failure as a Woman”—that I did for Comics Buyer’s Guide (CBG) way back in 2000.
The reference to “fabulous Iola” in panel #3 was an in-joke because CBG was published in Iola, Wisconsin. While I’ve never been there, my impression was that Iola was so small (and rural) that the publishing house was the main business in town.
Transcript:
PANEL 1, SCENE: Jack and Jill kiss as a female passenger asks them for a barf bag.
CAPTION: It was the perfect kiss! The perfect man! And in that perfect moment of passion nothing else in the universe mattered!
PASSENGER: Can I have my barf bag now?
PANEL 2, SCENE:
JACK: That kiss! I-I-I’ve never felt like this before!
JILL: That’s the Brussels sprouts, silly!
PANEL 2, SCENE: Jack and Jill are kissing outside.
CAPTION: “After our flight landed in fabulous Iola, the night was ours! We did everything…and we went everywhere! The grain silos! The pig farms! And, best of all…the magical moonlight bridge over the sewage plant!”
JACK (thinking): I think I stepped in something!
JILL (thinking):
PANEL 4, SCENE: Jack and Jill are still outside and are going for a walk.
JACK: It’s settled then! We’ll get married and live happily ever after…as long as my parents approve of you!
PANEL 5, SCENE: Jack and Jill are talking to Jack’s father.
JACK: Dad, Jill’s going to quit her job and join the family business after the wedding!
JILL: Hot dog! At last…I’ll be in real high society! No more barf bags for me!
PANEL 6, SCENE: Jill and Jack get married.
CAPTION #1: “Sure, I still do some cooking! But hardly anyone ever does…or even complains about it these days!”
CAPTION #2: “You see, Jack’s family caters conventions…for comic book fans! And those people will eat anything!
1960 ART: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig
FK15.2.3
Transcript:
PANEL 1, SCENE: Flight Attendant Jill and Captain Jack are talking inside the plane.
CAPTION: Jack was persistent, though! During the flight, he rushed out of the cockpit and cornered me…at a crucial moment!
JILL: But…people are eating! I’ve got to hand out the barf bags before it’s too late!
JACK: Let ’em use their carry on bags!
PANEL 2, SCENE: Jack and Jill are arguing as a passenger looks on.
JACK: I’ve got to know now! Will you be my Valentine?
JILL: Wake up and smell the coffee, Fly Boy! I can’t be anyone’s Valentine—not the way I cook!
PANEL 3, SCENE: Passenger asks Jill something.
PASSENGER: Stewardess, how about a gin and tonic?
JILL: Sure, I could use a drink!
PANEL 4, SCENE: Jill and Jack are talking again.
CAPTION: “I was sure Jack had given up, but later in the flight I learned how wrong I was!”
JILL: Y-y-you ate one of the meals I served? On purpose?
JACK: I love you, Jill! To prove it…I even had a second helping!
PANEL 5, SCENE: Jack and Jill talk.
JILL: Oh, Jack! Even the…Brussels sprouts?
JACK: Sure!
1960 ART: Charles Nicholas & Sal Trapani Color by John Lustig
FK15.2.2