You see, David, the Van Burens used to live here. But—good friends with your parents?
I don’t think so!
Why? Well, David, the Van Burens were secretly communist vampires! (And terrorists too!) Sent from another galaxy (and the future) to kidnap unsuspecting capitalist patriots like your parents.
God knows what those evil, atheist aliens would’ve demanded in return for your parents. (Our best theory is that they would’ve insisted that everyone in America be forced to have free healthcare—in Canada!)
Fortunately, we at the F.B.I. (Formidable Bureau of Insanity) stopped them!
Meanwhile, back in the present…
See the spiffed-up, new version of this art with new, funny dialogue in today’s Last Kiss Comic.