Although Ed Bertoli took top honors in this first Last Kiss Couple-Up contest, there were hundreds of other submissions and many of them were hilarious.
In fact, I ended up naming not one, but five runners-up:
Him: Kiss me, my darling.
Her: Braiiiins!
—Charles Kramer
Roger: I’ve just realized how much you look like MOM!!!!!!
Wife: Who wants a spanking ?!
—Helen Stockfleth
Oh no! I just realized – I’M ALLERGIC TO METAL!!!!!
—Gary Dunaier
ROGER: You would be perfect had I included a heat source. Unfortunately, you’re cold.
ROBOT: Then I am the perfect duplicate of your wife.
—Keiko Alvarez
Roger: You just keep going and going… I’m exhausted.
—Jacqueline Hallenbeck
Other Fun Submissions
And there were lots of other great gags that came very close to cinching one of the top spots. Here are some, but certainly not all:
Roger: You’ve e-wired into my bank account, my PayPal account, my credit cards! And you’ve spent it all on online shopping!
Robot: Resistance is futile… especially when it comes to shoes.
—Janet Heatherington
ROGER: Just open up those pod-bay doors, honey.
ROBOT: I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.
—Bob Cumbow
Him: At Last! My sex-bot is finished , she’s a perfect duplicate of my wife.
Her: Not tonight honey I have a headache.
—Clifton Alvin
He: You’re perfect.
She: So’s your toaster.
—Andrew Merton
Him: Finally! There’s no way my wife can refuse a three-way when both women are her!
Her: Computer? I barely know her!
—Christopher Murphy
Him: “Sweetheart, I’m in the mood for love…”
Her: “Headache subroutine activated….”
—Ed Rosa
Roger: Hunny what is that thing your mouth is doing? You’ve never done that before.
Robo wife: I believe it’s called a smile.
—Jackie C.
Revised: Invert images so that she is first…
Robot wife: Darling, don’t forget our anniversary this weekend.
Roger: (thought bubble) Must remove memory chip.
—Jacqueline Hallenbeck
Roger: Please…I have to go to work.
Robot: I’m sorry, you set the lust level too high and satiation has not yet been reached. Please continue your efforts.
—Baron Schaaf
Him: “My creation, you are complete! The perfect, flawless spouse who can never tire, grow old or die!” Her: “And I’ve completed my robot mother – the mother-in-law who can never tire, grow old or die!”
—Chuck Huber
He says, “You’re perfect, except for the autocorrect.” She says, “Take me to bad. Rummage me. I want to make live.”
—David Kirkpatrick
You mean I’ve done all this work, and you DON’T want a threesome?
—Kathy Moon
Him: Why… you’re so warm! So full of life! You’re even… smiling!
Her: That’s because even a robot like me couldn’t be as cold-hearted as your wife!
—Korey Watkins
Poet Roger: Your ageless beauty inspires an English sonnet.
Robot Wife: Your sexual stamina reminds me of a haiku.
—Jacqueline Hallenbeck
Roger: And now I’m going to make love to you for hours and hours on end.
Robo-wife: Activating “suspension of disbelief” mode…
—Ed Bertoli
