What is this woman saying? Or thinking? Or hearing? It’s up to you. Suggest some dialog!
Rules: No prizes. No winners. No losers. And no deadline. This is just for the sheer silliness of it all.
For legal reasons, I have to tell you that all submissions become the property of Last Kiss Inc. That’s pretty standard for contests–except, of course, this isn’t a contest.
Please keep it reasonably clean (PG-13 or so.) But mostly have fun!
OK, here’s what I’ve come up with…
“Just keep quiet after I close this! You’ve got enough food to last you through the whole flight, junior!”
“S’alright?” “S’alright.”
“Wait, this isn’t my lunch box!”
“Let’s see… six magenta blouses, six magenta slacks, six pairs of magenta panties… that should be enough clothes for this weekend’s OCD convention!”
Woman saying: GHD for LIFE!
Holy caca. I think it’s Marsellus Wallace’s soul.
Oh I hate these “business travels”! If only this was a rabbit’s hole…
Let’s see… change of underwear… toothbrush… tripod…laser telescope sight…silencer… extra clips…
Damn! I knew I shouldn’t have left Monty my pet python alone in there!
Let’s see, lacy bra, silk stockings, garter belt. This will be a case for J.Edgar Hoover
I’ve stuffed all my garden trolls.
That shouldn’t be too suspicious at the border.
He looks so vulnerable all cut up.
I just can’t travel without my darling’s ashes.
Bet the baggage handlers & TSA got a kick out of seeing that, it’s even still running!
You’d think he’d have hidden at least one candy bar in here!!
“Oh my god! I forgot my 5th pair of shoes, I will have nothing to wear tomorrow (sob)”
Darn! I could have sworn I packed the remote controls with all the other valuables when I left him!
I forgot the batteries! This will be one boring business trip. Or will it?
Darn! Airport security took all my good porn!
My Christmas present is not here either! I bet he hasn’t even bought it yet! This season is built upon lies!
Wait a cotton-picking minute! This isn’t the world’s largest Hershey bar…it’s full of dirty underpants and hashish. That’s the last time I buy duty-free in Kabul.
OH no, I forgot the crotch-less panties. This will be a less exciting trip.
Finally! We found Jimmy Hoffa!
Oh, Darling, I’m SO sorry! But I just COULDN’T afford a coffin for you AND a new dress for the memorial!
“Oh my! I didn’t know you were THAT limber, John.”
“Finally! I’ve got the courage to pack and become a bag lady!”
“What? No danish?”
“Not again, Alice!
I told you to eat the OTHER side of the mushroom.”
Came for the Pulp Fiction reference, leaving mostly satisfied.
“Folded baige tops, sensable shoes, natural make up…” “Someone switched bags with me!”
“No, you don’t get a seat in first class.” “I’m sorry, you’re a puppet, you have to stay in the suitcase.”
“So THAT’S what really happened to Tiger Woods…..ewww!”
Will 100 condoms really be enough?
Oh goodie !! I just love neatly packed 100-dollar bills !!
Now who would have wiped their chocolaty fingers on my lingerie?
I can’t believe he packed this all by himself.
And what does he need TWO blow-up dolls for anyway?
I’m finally moving in with the man of my dreams! And when I move back out again, my suitcase won’t be so empty.
Well that’s the last time I pack my goldfish in water balloons………
He just likes my torso. That’s why my trousseau is tore so.
Wig, fake eyelashes, falsies, dentures, fanny pads……….I hope he’s not planning to get to know me better…………
I thought he said Louis Vuitton, not “Made In Taiwan”
The problem with renting by the hour is that you don’t have time to pack right.
I’m sorry I had to cut it off.
But at least his wife will know who it belongs to.
This thing is supposed to convert into a cot.
But the instructions are printed in Japanese !!
I’ve looked everywhere.
What’s the point in having a hidden compartment if you can’t find it?
The lube is all over everything !!
Well, I don’t think Fluffy deposited this here all by himself.
Awww……..Sootsie-Puff had her kittens in here !!
There must be a better way of making a living than
picking up stray luggage at the airport.
I told the maid to pack the laptop, not the lapdog
Cell phone, laptop, digital camera, PGA tickets, blonde wig. I am finally ready to have my 45 minutes of Tiger Woods and my one minute of fame.
OMG……….. Mother must have picked up MY suitcase by mistake !!
I hope she doesn’t figure out how to use all those gadgets………
I’m not going to stay married in Lynnwood if it’s the last thing I do !!